Truthful Tuesdays -- wonder if I'll remember next week -- lol!!!
But what to say here? Most of my truths are things that everyone else has too. I hate cleaning. HATE it. I hate making my bed. I am not sure why I hate it -- I just do. I can't stand people who whine -- but find myself doing it -- and I REALLY HATE that.
Something ground breaking - something that you would never know -- I don't have that.
My truth?? I'm scared I'll never get past hurting my family when I ran away at 16. I know, I know, it's been 15 years. I've added 4 people to my big ol' family since then. But how do you get over the fact that you hurt every single person in your family so deeply? How am I supposed to get over that I wasn't home when my grandma passed away?
I mean, when I came home at 19 -- with Lane, no less -- it became a running joke that I had been gone on sabbatical. I think it was their way of coping with me being home and readjusting to life with me and my baby boy.
But it still haunts me -- especially with Dee gone. I know because I am so much like her, how much I hurt her and that is something I can't get over -- at least not yet.
Whew. That was way more deep than I wanted to get, but it feels very good to get it off my chest for now.
So to lighten the mood just a bit -- I will share the pages I did for Lauren's Hottie Challenge Blog last week. (Which reminds me -- I must get started on this week's!)
Mom -- close your eyes!!!! :)
Click pages for credits! :)
Thanks for reading! :)
8 comments:
Now why would you want to close your eyes when McSteamy is around?!?
I love Johnny!!!!! You can't take him from me. LOL
Ya know, sometimes we do things when we were younger that we might regret or wish we could take back, but it ALL, and I mean ALL, gives us a lesson to learn about life.
My DH has a saying..."everything happens for a reason". Even if we don't know the reason at the time, or understand why we make the choices we make, one day the answer will become clear.
HUGS!!!1111
Awww, I'm sure that your family forgives you so you should forgive yourself.
Big Hugs girl, what a great little peek into your life!
Hey Nikki!
What a beautiful blog! Love the McSteamy page too! :) I can't wait for Gray's Anatomy to come back!
Sounds like you came back to your family and are way past that time in your teen years... so let it go! You are someone different now, and someone that clearly loves her family, so don't be so hard on yourself. (hug)
~Julie Billingsley
What a touching story. Don't beat yourself up...everyone's different as a teen than they are as a "grown up." You've had an amazing journey already and your family's so lucky to have you! :)
Good writing...and um...better layout of the hottie!
well I'll be sure to remind you .. LOL.
I think, and while I don't know your family but just from my personal experience with MY family, that they forgive you long before you are able to forgive yourself-- and that's the point that you truly need to get to. Your family will love you no matter what :)
btw I giggled @ the close yer eyes part LOL. I actually had no idea WHO mcsteamy was when I Was looking through the layouts (I just realized I never commented on them all LMAO must go back and do that now)... I had to google "mcsteamy" and I felt really silly because I KNEW that could not be real name for someone LOL.. thankfully good ole wikipedia came to the recue LMAO.
La
((hugs)) I'm sure that your family forgives you, but I understand how you could feel that way. (oh and I love the pages)
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